WellRunLife

Ideas and inspiration for efficient living.

Boundaries

Have you ever heard of boundaries in relationships?

That concept improved my life greatly in the last two years.

Boundaries define where my person begins and ends and where another person begins and ends. It’s like a bubble or invisible circle around each person that determines a person’s rights.

Boundaries determine who and what you let into your life.

I believe a vital part of efficient living is to be emotionally healthy. Boundaries help achieve emotional health.

The whole point of boundaries is to respect yourself, to teach others how to respect you and to respect others.

Let me give an example: let’s say you have a dear friend who is chronically late, no matter what. I’m not talking fashionably late, I mean 30 minutes late every time you meet. You love this friend, but you are tired of wasting your time waiting for them. You have missed parts of events or entirely missed events because you waited for that friend in order to leave.

Time is precious and you like to use it wisely. Applying a boundary would involve kindly talking to your friend about their tardiness and how it makes you feel. You would give them a few chances to be on time. If they still show up late without making an effort, you would tell them that next time you will give them 5 minutes past your meet-up time and if they are not there, you will leave without them. And you do exactly that.

The point is not to hurt them. It is simply to establish the value of your time, teaching them to respect the schedule you set together. That is setting a boundary.

Boundaries are always about what you can control. In the above example, you cannot force the other person to be on time. You cannot control their feelings if they are hurt when they show up late and you already left. You are only responsible for your own person and actions.

Applying boundaries is not always easy. Today I had to establish a strong boundary towards some people I really care about. They will most likely be hurt by my boundary. However, my emotional and family health come first. I did not make the decision lightly, and I knew it was the right thing to do.

Are you good with setting boundaries for yourself?

Advertisements
6 Comments »

What’s a well-run life?

A well-run life is a life managed efficiently.

How does one do that?

I have come up with 25 points that contribute to efficient living:

  1. Be present in the moment and appreciate your current state.
  2. Be generous with your time and resources. Generosity keeps us selfless and it always comes back to bless us again.
  3. Get emotionally healthy. Let go of negative emotions (resentment, negativity, depression, bitterness, anger). Build healthy boundaries. Forgive.
  4. Nurture relationships. Value family and friends. Give your time to them. Try to speak their love language.
  5. Actively choose every aspect of your life. Your work, how you spend your free time, what you eat, how you take care of your health. Choose what you let in: tv, movies, reading.
  6. Read. Reading opens up the mind and inspires.
  7. Let go of judgement. It only harms to judge and helps no one. It shuts people out and closes doors.
  8. Leave a legacy. Make sure your life has an impact beyond your own person.
  9. Be grateful. For your health, your family, your friends, abundance, healthy children, a healthy marriage.
  10. Be respectful. Be considerate of the environment and others.
  11. Know yourself. Know what you are good at, and inversely what you are not good at, your unique gifts, your personality type. THEN use your life to bless others.
  12. Be physically active. Pick at least one activity you enjoy and DO IT! It does good to your body and your mind
  13. Let go of stress.
  14. Appreciate beauty. In music, art, nature, literature, architecture, in people. There is beauty all around, open your eyes to see it!
  15. Value spirituality. We are more than dust There is a great treasure in discovering what transcends us.
  16. Don’t be afraid to go against the flow. The secret to a fulfilling life lies in making unconventional choices.
  17. Value time and relationships above status and wealth.
  18. Be informed. Ignorance is a poor excuse for inaction or mediocre choices.
  19. Encourage others to live an efficient life.
  20. Apply the Golden Rule. Treat others like you would like to be treated.
  21. Stop wasting time. Evaluate your activities and choose whether they accomplish a higher purpose or if you are just being a a couch potato.
  22. Use routines and scheduling if they help you live be efficient.
  23. Be confident. Don’t apologize for who you are, be proud, you are unique!
  24. Welcome change. Change is uncomfortable, but it’s the only way growth can come.
  25. Live simply. This can have a different meaning for different people, but basically, don’t accumulate stuff and activities to fill a void inside. Stuff and busyness do not make you happy. Let go of clutter in your home. Budget efficiently; reduce unnecessary spending. Be content with what you have.

And now, add your own!

1 Comment »